winter
the winter is unfamiliar to him, a creeping cold that gets inside so that nothing is warm anymore. he is a cold, lonely boy. an outer skin of ice begins to form around him. we watch as it swallows him slowly, beginning at his hands and feet. a frozen boy without love. the ice makes cracks where his joints move, it is ugly.
one night a girl made of fire comes so close he begins to melt. the feeling makes him think of love, love like a softly burning fire. he keeps his love quiet but lets himself melt, letting the water drip off his fingers and nose and knees. her warmth is so real he touches it deeply until it melts past the ice to his skin. the patches where his skin shows through look like islands, and these islands surrounded by ice begin to grow and grow until all his skin is warm again. he is a boy who is warm and with love in his heart. they hold each other tightly in a pool of water and fall asleep.
when he wakes the ice is beginning again. crawling up his ankles and wrists. he is alone. the boy wanders and wanders through the dark house, up flights of steps and into doors with broken handles. she is gone. the ice wanders with him, over him. he searches until the sun goes down and the ice has covered his eyes so that he cannot see properly. but then a beautiful warmth fills the room and she is there. melting him again, tenderly tracing the uncovered skin, kissing his hair. ‘will you love me?’ he asks as she kisses his mouth dry. ‘i’m afraid i love someone else’ she smiles. he pretends not to hear but then she is gone and he is alone and he knows she is not.
the ice grows back thicker, colder each time. it is hard to breathe and move and the way he misses her makes him afraid. he doesn’t want to love a girl who loves another but still he waits, bearing the cold because he knows each day it will be gone again. she lays with him and holds his hands, carefully watching his face. ‘why did you do this? you are already warm and you are just making me colder each day.’ he says. she holds behind his neck and says ‘because you are special.’ she walks outside with him and she shows him the places she went to school and her grandmother’s house. then she leaves to be with her real love.
he runs far away, passing by the girl and her own boy’s love engraved into tree trunks and in love letters in the wind. he sees them kissing on the street and laughing in the snow. he closes his eyes and he sees the red of her. he spits, leave me alone, but only so quietly he can hear. because he knows he will come back. he will let her melt him and pretend to love him because it is all he has. and so on it goes. a violent affair. one night her red reflects in the water at his feet like blood. he thinks, she is killing me.
he runs away, closing his eyes so tightly no light can pass through. eventually he opens them and gets used to being the frozen boy. he lives alone in a house by a tall, naked tree. then one day, skipping stones on the frozen lake he meets a girl with golden hair. she stands beside him and holds his frozen hand. ‘hello’ she whispers. her name is sommer.